Goldilocks through the eyes of Holden Caulfield from The Catcher in the Rye

Essay by oxide85High School, 11th gradeA-, April 2008

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Holdenlocks and The Three BearsIf you really want to hear about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is where I was born, and what my lousy childhood was like, and all that David Copperfield kind of crap, but I don't feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth. I will tell you this though I am an 8 year old girl named Holdenlocks and well I’ll just start it from here.

One day I decided to ditch out on my 3rd grade class, my teacher was being a complete phony, and go for a long pointless walk in the woods. Pretty soon, I came upon a house that looks like it could have been from a fairy tale, all perfect and what not. I can’t tell you why, maybe because of complete boredom, but I knocked and no one answered. Something smelled good and I was goddamn hungry so I decided to take a quick peak and see what was cooking.

I opened the door and it made the most annoying noise ever. Is it really that hard to throw on some WD40? Anyways I walked in and saw three bowls of porridge. I went up to the first one and took a spoonful, and goddamn was it hot. It nearly burned my tongue off. I can guarantee that whoever’s porridge this was just is a complete phony and just wants to look like a tough guy. Anyways, I went to the second bowl and it was freezing. This person also had to be a phony, thinking they were a cool polar bear or something. So I tried out the third bowl and it was just how I liked it, someone must of tried copying my style, yet another phony. I ate the...